Everyone deserves a healthy relationship
Do you know someone who is being hurt? Or someone who is causing harm? Are you worried about what might be happening in a loved one’s relationship? You are not alone—we are here to help!
This guide will help you support someone who is struggling in their relationship—and to take care of yourself while you’re doing it. People are more likely to turn to their community (friends, family, YOU) than they are to professionals.
Survivors tell us that what matters most is having someone in their life who is there for them, without judgment, to bounce ideas off, get support, and lean on when things are tough. You can be that person. These tips and tools will help you get started. Get started here: Friends & Family Guide
A Safety Planning Worksheet
Safety planning is way to try to help survivors of domestic violence develop tools that can help them be safe during times when safety is compromised. Safety planning allows survivors to be able to plan out in advance possible scenarios that could arise and how to respond to those. Get started here: DIY plan
Healthy Relationship Quiz
Wondering if your relationship is healthy? Take this quiz to learn more.
Learn more about Domestic Violence
Red Flags. Your partner…
- says things to upset or frighten you
- becomes overly and inappropriately jealous of attention from or conversations with others
- monitors your time and whereabouts
- monitors your phone calls/texts, email and social media accounts
- controls all the finances
- repeatedly ignores and disrespects your boundaries
- makes subtle threats or negative remarks with the intent to frighten or control you
- disregards your opinions, ideas, suggestions or needs
- calls you names and swears at you
- uses guilt-trips and shaming to get his or her way
- pressures you to move fast in a relationship or pushes for immediate commitment
- is cruel to animals or children
- is continuously jealous and possessive; isolates you from your friends and family; may accuse you of being unfaithful.
Myth: Domestic Violence only happens in low-income, uneducated or minority families.
Fact: Abuse pervades EVERY ethnicity and socioeconomic status. Lower income victims are over-represented in shelters, social services and police reports due to a lack of other resources.
Myth: Domestic abuse does not happen much anymore.
Fact: Domestic abuse is a HUGE problem. 1 in 4 women experience domestic violence. Women are more likely to be killed by their partners than a stranger.
Myth: Drugs and alcohol can make someone abusive.
Fact: Drugs and alcohol may affect an abusive relationship, but the substance does not cause the abuse. Someone may be more prone to being violent when drunk or high, or they may be able to reach that threshold faster with a substance, but it will not cause someone to be abusive that would not have been violent otherwise.
Myth: If it was really that bad she would leave.
Fact: There are so many barriers to overcome when leaving an abusive relationship. It is not as simple as “just leaving.” Some factors include threats, economic issues, lack of support, isolation, fear and even hope. Leaving an abusive relationship is the MOST dangerous time for the victim because leaving is the ultimate threat to the abuser’s control over his or her victim. The violence will usually escalate at this time. This is when most domestic violence homicides occur. That fear alone could make someone stay.
- Yakima Police Department responds to 10 domestic violence calls a day.
- In Yakima County there are 13.9 incidents of domestic violence per 1,000 resident. (Compare that number to 7.4 per 1,000 residents for Washington state as a whole).
- On average, more than 3 women are murdered by their partner in this country every day.
- 1 in 4 adult women and 1 in 7 adult men have been the victim of severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
- Nearly 8 million days of paid work each year are lost due to domestic violence issues – the equivalent of more than 32,000 full-time jobs.
- 94% of domestic violence victims are between the age of 16 and 19 – the highest rate of domestic violence occurs between the ages of 16 and 24 years old.
The Power and Control Wheel is a tool that helps explain the different ways an abusive partner can use power and control to manipulate a relationship.
Video: Understanding the Power & Control Wheel
Power & Control Wheel – English
Poder Y Control Spanish – Spanish
Teen Power & Control Wheel
Equidad adolescente – Spanish
Teen Equality wheel – English
Washington State Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 562-6025
National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233 or 800-787-3224
National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: (866) 331-9474 or (866) 331-8453
Protection Order Notification: (877) 242-4055
(Washington) Statewide Automated Victim Information & Notification: (877) 846-3492